on Sunday, September 25, 2005
the plan must work! but then must get the 1st part done right. actually getting her to get THE day free! it be all in naught if that fails. contigency must be thought of also. must learn from pek and erika now. ops order. haa haa. and BIGBIGBIG thanx to vinsingh. heh =)
James Blunt - You're Beautiful Lyrics
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
and then u realise something. the last 2 lines must be deleted. seriously. cos its damn off larh. pui! haiz. wish me luck. im even willing to fuck the FA on thurs for THE PLAN. and if the PLAN fails i guess i shall just head back for some more kilkennys. yes. prolly not at walawala. too damn ex. there's a limit to spending. heh.
cheers.
yk ranted at 2:32 am!
on Tuesday, September 20, 2005
oh well, what a day.
in fact, what a week. somehow i just really question my being here at school. strangely for all those extroverted impressions others have of me i just somehow feel uncomfortable at sch. must be the fact that i still cant click with all these mugger types.
quite sad la, its been 2 months already and yet im still a lonely asshole wandering arnd in sch, only feeling wanted when the anat grp needs something of its dear leader (me). i feel. wasted. lonely. miserable.
and even academically im not catching up. fuck my FA i think i fucked it up big fucking time. like everyone was like, 'ok la, 2-3 wrong only', or 'shit! 6 wrong!!'.
my dear, im like, i've only got six CORRECT!
wah! brilliant. and of cos everyone feigned surprised at my revelation. im pretty certain that these types wud prolly go 'aiya standard la, cj wat'. heh! oh wells, perhaps im not too well aquainted with these rj types to know exactly what they think when they finally see someone who ACTUALLY fails. hahaha~
and damn sian la, think it just doesnt seem to work out the way i want with _e. i think _e is dao. or maybe im expecting too much out of something that i sud not expect to bear fruit at all. and it just occured to me that how come my posts sort of sound the same. know why? cos my life is now monotonous and shitty. perhaps it'll be better in M2, just like what my M3 senior told me.
to her, her M1 life sucked compared to M2.
at least we're going to walawala on fri. then i wud get to see _e again. why! why dont u reply! why are u always so busy! why am i so annoying!
argh.
life it seems, is pretty much lousier than i thot it wud be. i think its cos of one simple fact. fucking osa screwed me up lah fuck u understand why nv give me hall. i dont even mind ke7 dammit. in fact, right now, i want ke7. argh. stupid idiots fucking con me, make me type of my entire cca for fuck when ur not even going to look at it. i dont see why some other late disruptees can get a place at sheares hall and i cant even get fucking pgp.
grr! i shall just turn on some nice, soothing, OC-ish songs that vinsingh the great big singh intro'd to me. for all his buayaness and gayness and worse, anti-electronica, at least he listens to nice rock songs. but he says this is indie. i dunno la. what is indie. issit rock music from india? from the sounds of it, i dont think so! haha.
this is one nice song tho. go n dl!
Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
damn nice larh! i LOVE it lor. funnily, for how this whole album, Plans, sound like, like nice nice melodic and soothing tunes, the lyrics are kinda, dark. and sad. very sad. and yes, tho its DEATH cab for cutie its not some DEATH metal shit.
surprising.
yep, the past wkend was good though, unlike the past week. right. didnt make any sense did i. haha. cos sat was out playing bball. damn fucking gay la, that stupid idiot gays. tell u 3 pm u come then eric come at 335 and frits, frits... dont wanna say what time he came. so freaky. hhaz. next time im just going to say an immpossibly early time and u guys can come and WAIT.
hmph!
but at least the game was good. didnt play bball so much and hard for damn long but i think i've just made myself damn stupid playing bball after so long of not playing it. cant shoot shit, and forgot how to move loh. haa haa haa. and went for some SEOUL GARDEN after that. lol! like how long nv go eat seoul garden loh.
and guys, dont bother la, u'll nv find out who __e is if i dont tell u. muahaha. and i wont tell nobody abt it haha! just be nice and listen to my woes. my woes abt sch life, 'love' life, whatever fucked up life u can think of for me. heh.
so talk and eat talk and eat until those ppl chase us out. thin it closes too early lah. why close at 10pm! sud close later!
aiya, but seems like while we might be in agreement in most things like how gays must die and FROCs are very annoying, what i just cant agree is how being attached would make u happy.
maybe cos im never attached b4 and its just words of one who is sour-graping. haha. who cares la, but seriously, i think i value my freedom so much more than having a girl u can turn to. in fact, u can turn to so many much more ppl other than one single person right!?
its either that, or somehow girls i feel an attraction/affection for somehow just doesnt seem to reciprocate. im, suay.
fucking suay.
heh. and now iTunes have randomed into the Bhangra Knights song. damn lame la. haha. tired loh, think i shall go slp. dont give a fuck abt _e liao la, im here for u, but its up to u to take up my offer or not.
just that i'll be very hurt if u dont.
cheers =)
yk ranted at 12:12 am!
on Wednesday, September 14, 2005
oh gosh like wtf man, im in the midst of a bloody FIVE hour break, cos the tutorial was bloody postponed to tmr. so tmr's goanna be a long day and today, fucking stupid. i have half a mind to pon the biochem tut that is at the end of this dumb break.
argh.
not so bad la, at library now tho, trying to mug, but good scenery just distracts me la. wow, _______e is just damn chio la and shes sitting right in front of me. wow!
but seriosuly, looks like things might not seem to be going my way. very annoying imo, cos its like i find it hard to actually find time to actually talk and stuff, and besides, she always seems busy with her og or what. aiya, too bad la, who ask me go work instead of going medicamp, making my life now so difficult. or maybe 'suay' enuff to either get into a very dead og or one that is super enthu abt mugging. like super fucked up la. bleah.
oh wells, still gotta mug hard.
fucked up la, cos need to mug for tmr's test on the CB track. cell biology indeed! more like fucking cheebye lah. so much shit to study, all the biochem stuff and some histo is under the CB track. bloody CB, so confusing. so now im sorta stuck between the alpha helixes and quarternary structures of proteins, while knee deep in cytosol.
vivid description indeed. its a torturous scene here, the notes are strangling me. argh! save me!
damn stupid la, all the power sockts kenna stun. bring lappie charger also no use. 4 hrs seemed long for battery life of a lappie, but somehow for school use, 4 hrs seems too damn short. its only FOUR lectures ok, like damn fast can finish 4 lects one la, and i use it for tutorial also. haha. too bad lah. at least better than other PCs die even faster.
mac rox ^^
cheers.
yk ranted at 10:54 am!
on Monday, September 12, 2005
ok lect sux. no notes no fuck shit need to dl by ourselves.
and the lecturer was late by 25 mins. then most probably the only breaks wehave will be burned. NOO!!!
haiz.
cheers.
yk ranted at 9:45 am!
on Tuesday, September 06, 2005
doing enzymes tutorial now. at the anat museum. nice air con and good chairs. and that stupid ying xian is abusing Ivan the skeleton. haiyo. y u so guai lan! haha.
lecture was not as great as it SHOULD be considering who im sitting next to.
i sud be less shy lah. damn sians.
haha. oh well.
and its now 30 mins later. in the biochem tutorial. its rather a glorified biochem lecture. ok fuck that idiot just turned on the lights eyes mine hurt. damn stupid, i think our biochem lecturers are boring. and it doesnt help that biochem is the driest fuckshit subject we have to do here. wat cheebye protein folding and DNA replication enzymes inhibition and wat fuck. so sians. not say i dont want to do well, but content dry, lecturer dry, might as well fail.
and tutorial is a lecture. so stupid. then cannot ask any question liao lah. macam like tutorial. might as well just go n slack in library or what. bah. gosh where are u ________e! no scenery then i might as well just sleep in lecture. haiz. haha.
seriously, i think it is high time to put an end to all those failures and leave them behind. must take action! but abit hard leh, like no reason to go and talk to her and stuff, its just so gay lah. pui. doesnt help that friday's lessons all postponed, cos friday's anat lessons are the best ok.
not that cadavers are damn interesting or what, in fact i STILL find them nauseating and scary, nor that our prof is the most interesting guy on the planet. but rather its who's in the anat tut grp that makes anat so 'interesting' for me. muahaha. oh gosh.
fucked up lah, turns out that this biochem tutor is a mugger type. he marks scripts on the points system. what a dick! i think i would do better in physio than biochem liao la, cos physio the tutor was like 'i dont care what u write, as long as i can feel that u understand i will give u the mark'
oh ok.
so i just need to throw good smoke bombs la. brilliant! my forte. muahaha. otherwise how can such a godawful stupid guy get into med sch if he doth not possess the legendary skill of smoke bombs.
looks like i need to fish out the biochem notes liao. completely dunno what the fuck hes talking abt. what allosteric enzyme what the fuck!? omg. and from what i heard, ALL biochem textbooks are lousy like shit and our brief lecture notes are way more informative.
what the hell, finish tut liao? we barely started
cheers.
yk ranted at 1:01 pm!
on Sunday, September 04, 2005
just need to type. its been a quiet and serene night around this place, especially after the rain and all. but in spite of all these calm and serenity, its boring.
yupp, and another weekend has passed. only looking forward to the next. have a glimpse into my life, which is now reduced to just getting from one weekend to the next. it almost just seems that the weekends are times when im truly myself, with the weekdays just being stretched out into stupidity, numbness and nothing-ness. stoned. ah, life is so greatly monotonous even if its being a civilian.
really, would i trade my colourful (green) army life for this really stoned and spaced out civilian life now? i really dunno. how about just merely 3 months ago? most probably would.
think its the 'starting school' syndrome. especially when u start off in a place where u know no1. its kinda harsh, but usually after a year or half i'd get used to it. now merely looking forward to weekends where old gays wud be free and we'd just hang out and make a hell lot of noise, just like last night.
too bad, gone were the days where we'd just be wild and carefree (cept for the A's) and have lotsa fun. oh the jc days where art thou, i hath missed you so much. as i said, the 'starting school' syndrome. or rather 'starting school where its a complete alien environment' syndrome.
come to think of it i should be quite used to this bullshit. lets see, throughout primary school i've NEVER stuck in a same class, or never had my classmates usually end up in the same class the next yr. and im one of the only 3 from nhps to go sji, where it was just flooded with st mike's, st anthony's etcetc ppl.
and headed to 405 with only 2 more 2e2 fellas. and went to sa with only david and mark gay. only cj was an exception. and here i am at nus, completely alone in medfac.
wow. and i still seem to get through. seems like it takes at least half a yr to get to know ppl well enuff to get wild and crazy aha. fuck it la, so stupid. dunno somebody said medfac shoulda just changed its name to RJC-medical branch. think its quite right haha.
well, being lonely at an alien world aside. its a harsh world. dont think i can catch up with the work. i just look at the textbooks and its kinda getting to me. so much shit to learn so much shit to memorise and u tell me its all going to be tested. wow. i feel adequately prepared for whatever CA's/finals coming my way.
cant wait for the hols! its only just 2 weeks away. wonder if anyone will be having block leave then, then can slack all the way. or if i had it my way i want to spend that hols alone with _________.
IF i had it my way.
of cos i wouldnt unless i do smthn drastic abt it. what if, SK was right and what we need is just a script! pui, just sounds wrong lah. but just to get her maybe i sud be wrong for once, after all, being right never worked out before aint it? guess a little devious-ness is required for much and many gains.
but what gains, may i ask. the kind that pek vince and i wrote down in JC1's pastoral care session? abt goals in life? or issit something more. somehow i doubt myself. having been burnt and scarred countless times, i think i lack confidence to pull it through. strangely i feel like that im underqualified, for her that is. and yet another part of me just doesnt want to be alone no more.
no matter how many times i try to lie to myself that im single and happy.
perhaps it just stems from a bitterness that is leftover from too many failures. im a harderend freak now. ha! but dunno la, if thats the case then why m i having such feelings again. thot it'd nv happen ever. its just like that day at the anat notice board with ying xian looking for our anat groups, and my heart just leapt when i saw that ________ was in anat grp 9 also. and that was when i barely knew her!
fate? or issit just mere coincidence. gotta find out.
dunno if i've the guts to.
cheers
yk ranted at 8:57 pm!
on
ok then, maybe not.
heh! so happy ytd. aha.
cheers.
yk ranted at 1:06 pm!
on Saturday, September 03, 2005
wtf, ur playing me out?
bleah.
cheers.
yk ranted at 1:00 pm!
on Friday, September 02, 2005
still at school now, sadly, tho its usually past the tiime to end school. the 4 hour break on friday is about to be WRECKED! oh no, this is a setback to my plan of operations for getting to 'know' ________e aha. im despo but sadly this golden oppurtunity is destroyed.
it is now pbl i see. pui. today was horrid lah, that dr pang make us go all the way to ttsh just for an hour of pbl. turns out its quite a waste of time yuck. but ok la, at least it beats stoning at school for 4 hrs which im sure i'll spend stoning, doing stupid things and stuff.
quite sad lah, after almost a month at med sch im not exactly very close with anyone here yet. so unlike sa. pui. tahan la, im going to be stuck here for 5 years anyway. heh.
5 more minutes and its good ol anat pract. how exciting. can see dead bodies again. aaaah my nose. it'll kill me.
cheers =)
yk ranted at 2:50 pm!
the collaborators *
i cant be fucked linking!
the photographic evidence *
lies!
the incriminating evidence *
everlasting .
depression .
melodramatic .
ORANJELAIR
-yk