on Thursday, January 13, 2005
i would slowly but surely and painfully realise that what i might have prophesiced, and many believed against, hoping in vain, in somewhat 3 months back, might just be sadly coming into fruition. my friends, it is indeed that time.
indeed, the absence of a glue such as school have made us drift apart, some into tekong, some into jurong isles, changis, choa chu kang, raffles place, etc u get the idea. and beyond that physical drifting is also something more significant.
i wonder whether issit just me, suffering from a 'gay of a malay' attack and being retarded, or that people have suddenly become cold. prove me wrong please. well, not cold, just cool. cooler than where we were mere weeks ago, in the midst of december holidays and the end of the a levels.
just wondering, it is kinda hard to keep the warmth of friendships burning after the thing that brought us together is gone, and that is of course wretched cjc lah. (gosh the new pe shirt is like so cool!) people get tired after work, after volunteering, after dating, and others too get weary in trying to get friends to come together to enjoy a day out or something. weariness, it seems, has claimed the entire t 17 very quickly, and it also is the obstacle that prevents the flame from rekindling.
and that very fatigue has claimed me also. im just too fucking lazy now. its kinda hard u know, when practically the most jovial and noisy people are probably slogging thru the mud in hell's little corner on Earth commonly known in sgp comtempary folklore as pulau tekong, or 'leaving on a jet plane (dont know when they will be back again. fuck u xj come back dammit cornfields sux =p'), and the whole mood just aint the same anymore.
basically it sums up as mindef is not just screwing our lives, they're screwing friendships too!
yes, blame me people, for sounding like a wet blanket when we all hope that we could just all kiss and make up and make the fools outta ourselves like back in school, but hell no, it aint goanna happen. it has happened, and it will live on, replayed again and again for as long as we live inside our minds, but never to be repeated as true actions as ageing and 'growing up' takes place.
seriously, im having trouble adjusting to this kinda cold-ish, unfriendly life filled with facing files with nothing to look forward to except the stupid bus 67 ride home taking me to smelly places such as eunos and that part of serangoon road and geylang and sleazy joo chiat and geylang serai. certainly i would wish for more chances in which old friends can just come out and maybe enjoy a day out, but the fact is fatigue chases us to the ends of the island, and i just cannot be bothered anymore.
im just too weary now of tying to call people out only to be answered by 'im tired' from myself, and them, or 'im busy' from myself and them, which would just mean, 'dont bother me'. thats the impression i get from myself, and them. oh boy do i hate myself. oh well, and guess what, i'd guess we are all just driftwood, pieces of the board of the once majestic ship known as class of 2004 cjc, (and of course sajc 2003 1st intake) now destroyed by the maelstorm of life, seeking our destines in that very vast ocean, never to see each other again.
Travis - Driftwood
Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to ocean
Oceans tide you home
Home is where your heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces pieces pieces
Just driftwood hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you bind you grind you
sorry dudes, im just sounding abit too sentimental here, and *gasp* insecure! its the gay of a malay attack! fucking hell im just going to sleep it off. maybe tomorrow i will wake up and find myself just finishing o levels and this whole jc adventure is going to start again, or that i was just not being myself right now. and at that time, i'll see you grrrreat ppl soon.
yk ranted at 9:48 pm!
the collaborators *
i cant be fucked linking!
the photographic evidence *
lies!
the incriminating evidence *
everlasting .
depression .
melodramatic .
ORANJELAIR
-yk